Stuck in the mud. Please don't sleep when I try to explain something about work. You end up biting your own ass. I'm seriously getting pissed at the way you keep instructing people on the wrong things and refuse to accept criticism or even the fact that your ass is wrong.

Thank God that feeling is over. Time to make time.

I can't help but feel I'm f*cking up the end game.

Language has a certain way of somehow taking something from life that is represented in symbols and syntactic structure as well as a matrix of selection among others in creating an idea. Programming language is not devoid of this idea even though it might be very easy to fall into thinking that programming is merely a series of redundant lines of code. '11010111', 'Hello World' are lines of code that are most commonly found with new learners of languages as is the case with me. But looking into lines of code sometimes I see beauty.
It is a beauty that is not really one that is immediately conceived but one that requires a little more effort in perception. One speaker said that 'Hello World' is a very powerful line. From there somehow I began to look at code not merely as a vessel of a programmers conscious will but also the unconscious. I am not speaking of code elegance or of code efficiency as these concepts are not yet within my capacity to write about to fully understand them. Instead, I will talk about a common concept in programming. The 'for loop'.
This loop is commonly used in order to traverse an array, print out material on screen and other tasks that need repetition until a certain condition is met. Such is the creation of the language in computer programming that it is found in almost all languages that I have begun studying in school. The for loop is a powerful concept not because it can create repetition without the need to recreate lines of code. It is a powerful concept as it represents the computer programmers will. I don't know much about Bjarne Stroustroup, John Backus or Dennis Ritchie or maybe Robert Turing. They are names that I haven't begun to appreciate let alone know the intricacies of. What for loop represents to these pioneers of programming is a Sisyphean Concept. Yes, it is a Sisyphean concept of trying.
The for loop represents an aspect of humanity where the struggle continues until a certain condition is met. Sometimes, an errant line of code creates a never-ending loop and sometimes the condition is without much ado. The for loop represents what a sliver of humanity. Somehow the concept of art really ties in with this concept.
Life creates for us conditions wherein we are forced to create for loops. These loops are our dreams. We keep trying until we meet our objectives. These loops are our frustrations. We keep trying even though we fail. These loops are our struggle up mountains.
It maybe easy to say that the for loop is a misrepresentation of our struggles since it is a very limited concept. To this I agree, for there are some struggles, some dreams, some mountains whose very nature we just do because we have to. Some struggles we continue to do not because of the need to meet a certain condition but because traversing the array, printing out our stuggles in our lives, and other tasks that only our mind can mention to us or our heart can whisper to us. Whatever our loops may be, where ever they may take us we can always take heart in the pioneer creation of the programming language; a never-ending loop to help us with dreaming.

Fuck. You ran over a kid and a woman. You killed the kid. And all you could say was "wala akong magagawa aksidente yun e."
You have no shred of humanity left.

What's a hobo like me doing in UP? Apparently things have changed so much that there are now new opportunities. I'd like to think it was all hard work but I won't say luck had no part in it. There always new endeavors but somehow I'm beginning to get burned out. I did nothing for the day except play deadspace. I've been killing monsters left and right. Gigabytes worth of them. But I still have a lot to go before I sleep. Miles to go before I can being to think about sleeping. I have a Software Quality Analysis, Project Management Plan, Change Management Plan, Scope Statement, Project Charter, and Project Communication Plan. Not a single word has been written. Not a single hour sacrificed to honor the god of grades. This sucks ass.
Break it down into smaller parts.
Begin with a first letter.
Brainstorm.
Write with a pen.

To say the least, portobello mushrooms are pretty much flavorless. I did certain things wrong but I thought the flavor of the mushroom would still be able to save the day but it didn't. But at least next time I know what to do with it. I'd rather use it as a meat substitute and let it soak up the flavor of whatever it's marinated in. Still there are many ways I can explore how to cook potty mushrooms. Potty mushroom burger. Potty mushroom pasta. Potty mushroom pizza(kind of a waste really).

but in the end i think simple dishes would still rule the day. like toast and some mozarella and tomatoes on top. simple but it works.

I recently got a portobello mushroom from S&R Price Club and I'm looking forward to cooking it. I wanted to cook portobello mushrooms for a long time but I never really got into it. Since it's our quarterly vacation, I now have some free time to practice my cooking skills(or lack thereof) So for the first time I'm going to try and cook it. This is a recipe I got off the internet and it kinda looks good. I'll upload some pictures when I get the time. Oh yeah and GSP versus Anderson Silva has to happen.

Forgetting is a process that you only become aware of when you remember some vestigial thought associated with what you had forgotten. The paradox seems so intentional and like what has been said before "life is not without its ironies". It seems life has a way of making paradoxes subtler. It is difficult at this point to create phenomenological analysis of incidents like forgetting. It has become difficult for me to write about literature because so much of what I had learned has now been relegated to the dustiest part of my mind. It has been a long time since I ventured into Longinus' mind and even my favorite literary theorists name I had forgotten. Practical Stylistics. That's all I remember from it.

---

Paraphrasing an old master.
"Paradox - a seemingly contradictory statement, phenomenon or arrangement of language." - Cirilo Bautista

January
This was the first month of my job hunt and I was applying to all the companies I knew. I was applying for jobs that I wasn't qualified for as well. I got accepted in most of my applications except for financial executive hahaha! What the hell would i know about finance.
February
I was still applying for some jobs but this time it was beginning to tone down a bit. Then I stopped applying for jobs for a while. I applied for graduation, a mere formality since I already graduated just did not attend the ceremony.
March
Got accepted into a PR agency. Left immediately. Sick sad world! Boy that was a completely forgettable experience. I don't wish that upon anyone.
April
Started job hunting again but not without difficulty. This time I was a little bit too disappointed to really make a serious effort. But then I applied to UPITTC.
May
Got my ass accepted into UPITTC. And I was in the bridge program. It was a very difficult program to begin with but I tried my best.
June
Was able to survive but barely for the time. It was only then that I realized that this program was in partnership with JICA or japan international cooperation agency. I was starting to feel a little bit at ease but this was only for a short time.
July
Burned my eyebrows off. The quarter was really difficult. I had second thoughts and was considering withdrawing from the program. But thanks to Donn I continued on with the program. Discrete mathematics finally ended at this point.
August
Blew off some steam!!! Y4IT did it for me! One week of lazing around in UP talking with people while sitting on the grass and drinking our butts off at the end of the day. I was starting to feel comfortable with how UP was playing its game.
September
First quarter grades were released yes they were late. Wasn't anything special. I was playing around in the lower 25% of the entire school. But it didn't bother me. I knew I was going to change things around this quarter. Gel's birthday as well ^_____^
October
Don't remember much from october. But this was the period where a solid set of friends were beginning to emerge. Second quarter was beginning to wrap up.
November
The grades for the second quarter were released. ^__________________________^ let's just say it put a smile where there was none!
December
Had one of the craziest christmas parties for a loooonnngggg time! Even our japanese monitors were drinking their butts off. My brother's wedding in patio victoria!

Conclusion
This is a mere skim on the surface. There were a lot of things that happened during this year. And a lot more things better left unsaid. But this is the focal point of last year and will be the focal point for the coming year as well. Education. Self Cultivation. Breaking barriers. Proving people wrong. and most especially Love. Love for friends. Love for Family. Love for Life. Love for Gellibelli!

then again, there better not be any exams concerning the creation of a gantt chart WITHOUT any specifications. cs292 just gets better with a teacher who comes to class wait... attends to teaching students 2 times in the whole course. thank god for freedom but i paid you to teach me.

damn. studying so hard for the past 6 months and now i'm going into the most difficult phase of my studies. second tries are getting harder to come by at this point.

WE LIVE IN A TIME OF INJUSTICE:
1. jalosjos
2. tehankee
3. atty. hernandez
4. rolito go(?)

"In Time"
Zero 7

All the words are calling
Got time on my own
There's no destination
Wondering whether I'll feel it again

Keep my hands off the wheel
'Cause there's nowhere else to go

Take some time
Just hang around awhile
Like to sit this silent moment out
I don't want to lose or let you down
Time's just gonna change itself around

The autumn leaves are falling
Falling down on me
And there's nothing I can do
And there's nothing I can say
That's gonna change the way I feel

Keep my hands off the wheel
'Cause there's nowhere else to go

Take some time
Just hang around awhile
Like to sit this silent moment out
I don't want to lose or let you down
Time's just gonna change itself around

Take this time
Just hang around awhile
Like to sit this silent moment out
I don't wanna lose or let you down
Time's just gonna change itself
Change itself around

I feel it's true
All alone without you
I feel it's true
'Cause you're running with the wind
And you're running with your life
Won't you come inside

Keep my hands off the wheel
'Cause there's nowhere else to go

Take some time
Just hang around awhile
Like to sit this silent moment out
I don't want to lose or let you down
Time's just gonna change itself around

flakey = sean kingston
210 lbs. of choco lovin'

hay wala ka nanamang magawa!

was supposed to embed something from sir ken robinson but equally amazing is this talk
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/johnny_lee_demos_wii_remote_hacks.html

mo ichi do.

Studying in UPITTC as a part of the UP College Systems, it seems surreal to me that I am in this place. I'm so used to the hustle and bustle of De La Salle University and the culture and it's somewhat unnerving to see that what had dominantly operated in DLSU as a social structure is now not present in where I am studying. Believe it or not though there are a lot of people who have no manners in both schools. As in DLSU, there are people who assert their 'perceived' dominance over others through their social stature and their money. In UP there are those who assert their 'perceived' dominance over others through their intellectual capacity. Sad to say in both cases there is a complete lack of etiquette and a complete manifestation of moral righteousness. 'I have the power therefore everyone else sucks.' No, there is no reduction occurring in this instance since it does not apply to everyone.
It's very difficult for a person like me to see past those faults, especially because in both cases I end up as inferior. Somehow, no matter how much money you have, or how smart you are, the least a person can afford to have is some manners. But this is a fault of mine as well. I have looked down and I have exalted myself. And for justice to serve me well, it will just have to open my eyes to reality. It offers me disenchantment.
In both cases I understand a sheer lack of capacity and potential to be as dominant as others. Thus, I seek a common ground, I try to bring them back to something that I have learned in my younger years and somehow I compare them and I delight in their lack. I delight in weighing them. And in my own little world seeing people put down others, I also put down others. We have that in our own language.
Pobreng mata-pobre.

we can refuse.